Treasures at a Garage Sale that Even the Internet Doesn’t Know!

11 05 2009

Rummage Sales. I love them at and hate them all at once.  Usually you go to these things, and everything smells.  Or it’s pointless and over priced for the garbage that it is.  …but, every once and a while you find something totally cool.  This is a tale of the latter.  The elusive cool rummage sale.

So this was a few weekends ago.  …or one weekend ago, I have no idea.  It wasn’t yesterday though, that much I’m sure of. So I wanted to go to this hot rummage sale I was tipped off to by a guy I know.  It’s once a year up by 394 and Penn Ave (Minneapolis)  It was supposed to be big.   Lovely day, super nice out, and there were like about a trillion people there.  Hot dog stands, mini donuts… it was a tripped out rummage circus.  …and there, at the very first place I went to was… an amp.

Ok, so we all know that I’m in a band, right?  …if not, I’m not sure where you’ve been, but you should probably check us out before someone makes a lot of fun of you…  Anyway, so being in a band usually means you’re also a gear nerd to some degree.  …usually the more of a gear nerd you are, the crappier your band actually is.  …which makes sense because I’m not a HUGE gear nerd or anything.  I don’t really know why anything does anything… I just play things, and find out what I like and go with that.  I’m not ever going to get into some lame conversation debating brand names with people.  Gear talk is like Magic the Gathering talk. …Or Harry Potter talk.  Lose-lose situations.  I went to the latest Star Trek movie.  I loved it. So what?  Am I going to talk about the nuances of the new actors performances when portaying our original heros?  No.  Not much. Seriously.  …So, I am not a gearhead nerd guy.

..but anyway, I saw this old amp in the corner of this garage… price? $10.   …So I was all like, ‘Hey, does this thing work?’  …and this grungy hippy lady told me that she thought it did… or at least that dude who left it in her garage said so.  …hippies… Anyway, it was a rhetorical question anyway.  Here’s my gear know-how and advice.  If it’s old, it’s worth more than $10 when it comes to all musical gear, and Star Wars toys that have all the original pieces and are in 9+ condition or better.  …and of course still in the package- regardless of the condition of the package really.  The toy inside would likely be worth at least $10 if it’s old.

(I used to work at this place that sold Star Wars toys- and at that time, I would have been considered an expert in that field. …We sent out cataloges and I convinced the boss to let me write little articles in them.  They were all really funny.  …except for this one, where the boss’s brother who was the “editor” because he was in college or something… changed my whole story around because he found a typo that didn’t make any sense- so he retyped several sentences to make them make more sence, and in doing so, also made me sound as though I wanted to rape a fictional cartoon character.   My revenge would come a few years later when I ditched my post at the Mall of America to go meet William Shanter…)

So The amp was a Jordan.  The model was Trouper J120.  And me typing that into the internet doubles the online articles that mention this amp.  This is the odd part.  Jordan made amps from 1966 until sometime in the 70s, and they were used by some of the top artist of the time.  The Doors, the Mama’s and the Papa’s etc… huge acts.  And then, the two clowns who ran the company went to work for Rickenbacker and disbanded Jordan… Now, here in the future, the things are super rare because of the short amount of time they were on the market.  I’ve talked to every freaking guitar expert I can find, and they all say the same thing.  “Oh yeah, heard of those- never seen one come through.”  …so, at first thought, this might make you think that my $10 amp is worth a small fortune. …and if you’re thinking of buying it from me, then you’d be quite right.  …but if not, it’s actually really hard to tell… there’s no supply- but also no demand.  No one is looking for these, or knows anything about them, so judging a value is though.  BUT it sounds amazing!  So, for $10 it will sit in my place and make me happy for now.

Later that day I also found a Darth Vader mask that changes your voice when you speak into it.(Yes. You read correctly.  It makes you sound like Darth Vader.  …I know, deap breaths. ) You have no idea how many parties I will wear that to this summer.  Like, two or three. Seriously.  …because I wasn’t really to stop getting cheap things, I also went on to craigs list after seeing an organ for sale for $250 and I realized you can get these things for next to nothing. …so I bought an organ for $10 too.   It makes all sorts of annoying sounds, and has the notes labeled for fake musicians like me who need help with the more “technical” aspects of playing instruments.

So, for $27 cash money I got, a vintage amp, a vintage organ, and a Darth Vader mask.  Naturally I went out rummage saling the next weekend as well. …and naturally I found loads of smelly over priced garbage like toddler clothes.  Eh, you win some, and you lose some.

Food for thought: I’m thinking about working brief little reviews of other bands music into my stories about nothing… FYI.

Live long and prosper,

David

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Maudlin boldly went somewhere interesting! …five years ago.

24 02 2009

Nothing at all eventful happened to me this week. …um, I bought a batman t-shirt, the old kind from the Tim Burton Batman… Tried to get together three times to practice , ended up actually practicing once. So that was good. We are working on our upcoming release too, but if I blogged about it, it would read more like a dry text book written by a guy who has no business writing text books, rather than my usual totally awesome bloggery. SO… I’m going to dip way back into my bag of tricks and recall a former adventure that is worthy of your time… I guess, depending on who you are.

*dream sequence style music here* Maudlin Takes You BACK IN TIME!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The year was 2004, and it was election day. Most of the good citizens of our nation were engaged in aDick Cheney, November 2004 misguided tug of war to decide which pre-selected representative of the Illuminati should pretend to run our country. Dick Cheney would later remark that ‘your pitiful votes are no match for the Dark Side of the Force,’ before electrocuting Luke Skywalker. …Maudlin, on the other hand, was leaving to go on tour in the exotic foreign land of Canada.

I remember leaving the country well. In the middle of nowhere Montana, Maudlin was arriving at customs to lie about our business in Canada, and what goods we were taking across the border. To our surprise, there were fourteen homeland security police officers stationed there. We were on mega-terrorist threat color red alert, as it was election day. Recent intelligence agents had also intercepted a communique that Klingons would soon be firing photon torpedoes on democracy. …that heightened security too. It was those two things.

Now, though Maudlin is usually a law abiding band, we did intend to enter Canada without proper work visas and transport salable goods that we had no intention of paying taxes on, upon entering or exiting the country. This was due to lack of funds rather than disdain for that Canadian authorities. We were keeping a very low profile. No groupies, no blow, no tying prostitutes to chairs and beating them with metal chains for logging on to our computers. Nothing fun at all.

So, when someone at the border asks you a random question like, “Do you have any prescription medications that are not in their original, labeled containers,” most people would say, “No.” …Not Priscilla. She said “Yes.” …Which resulted in our being held hostage until she could located the substance (which was prescription foot cream for a rash) and show it off to everyone. I kid you not, Cheney didn’t actually electrocute any Jedi Knights (that I know of…) but Priscilla did get briefly detained by police due to foot cream that was not properly labeled. Al-Qaeda was terrified after they heard about the incident and canceled all their rouge cream mislabeling attacks they were planning.

Saskatchewan, Canada.  Poplulation: road

Eventually the U.S. forces let us leave the country after tearing apart the whole truck… and the Canadian forces? Didn’t so much as glance in the Suburban. And then, there we were, in Saskatchewan, the stupidest part of Canada, about to begin our first international tour.

So, at this point you’re probably thinking, “why the hell were they in Saskatchewan when there are other places that exist?” …and, that’s a good question, I heard many natives asking themselves that same thing. We had a reason of sorts. Our label at the time, Torque Records, was headquartered out of a town of 300 people there. What were they doing there? Kevin Gales, the owner, is an odd and disturbed man… as we would find out.

I don’t remember a lot of the specific shows.  Some I do remember.1-18 Most of them were held in churches, community centers, or colleges… there’s weren’t a lot of actual venues where we played. Lots of towns with just a few thousand people. Usually that sucked, but sometimes it meant that we were the only entertainment these people had seen in their life times; sometimes whole towns turned out. This is an example of an average show up there. There we are… under a parachute? Yes. A parachute. I have no clue what town that was…
(for those astute stalker types, you may notice that Jason is not playing drums. The man pictured, AJ, was eaten by polar bears.)

If you’re from the States, and you’ve never been to Canada, let me try and explain it to you. It’s like an episode of Sliders… a universe parallel to our own. You’ll be walking around and everything will be normal- you could be in anywheretown U.S.A. …and then you’ll see it: something so freakishly perverse that you don’t even think you’re on the same planet anymore… Skim milk with blue containers, and 2% in pink ones… wtf!?!? I know, I know, most people would have left the country when they saw something as unamerican as that, but we decided that someone need to document it all for posterity’s sake.

For the most part, the people of Canada accepted us with open arms. A real Bathroom in a gas station in Canada They freely opened up to us about their ancient isolated culture. We found out that the word ‘about’ isn’t the only thing they mispronounce. Also worlds like ‘process.’ They have their own made up, pretend words for some things… like ‘tuk’ which means ‘stocking cap.’ And, if you eat french fries there they will try and put gravy on them. Do not let them; this is a mistake. The most bizarre custom they have involves the tandem coed bathrooms that can be found in many public places.

But, not everything in Canada is fake words and toilet teams, they also still have dinosaurs. Most people presume that dinosaurs are all extinct because we haven’t seen any in a long time. Well, I haven’t seen anyone walking around in jeans and a jean jacket lately, but that doesn’t mean they’re not in Canada. When these animals are hit by cars, the provincial D &R still allows people to take the meat, and Tim Horton’s actually serves mammoth sandwiches.

dsc00066Dental Examdsc000781

The state religion in Canada is Star Trek. Most people don’t actually know this either. We spent sometime in the pious village of Vulcan, Alberta. The whole town is devoted to Trek.

Enterprise

...When in Rome...Camber of Commerce... 1-41

…Nothing I can make up can alter the fact that I had to have taken these pictures somewhere, so these things do exists… even if Canadians don’t pee together or worship Spok.

…also I did this.

Rock Swimming

In conclusion, Canada is an intriguing popsicle of a country, filled with monsters and poutine. For additional studies on Maudlin’s trip to Canada, try checking out our new hit song, Saskatchewan, off our sophomore album, Maudlin, and the Second Law of Thermodynamics, in stores soon!








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